For a minute there it looked like Peter Dutton’s luck might have changed yesterday when reports emerged that the Russians were coming. Could you believe it? Vladimir Putin’s people had designs on Indonesia as a base for their military aircraft. Manna from heaven for a failing campaign.
This was right in Dutton’s wheelhouse, as the saying goes. Sniffing a chance to flex his national security muscle, the opposition leader demanded to know what the hell Anthony Albanese had been up to. Sleepy Albo. Too dopey to know the reds were on our doorstep.
Dutton’s faux righteous outrage had a life of approximately 10 minutes which was when Indonesian officials said there was no truth to the claim that had been published in the military intelligence journal Janes.
Shooting blanks
The episode echoed Dutton’s furious attack on Albanese in January when it was revealed police were investigating a caravan packed with explosives in apparent preparation for a “mass casualty event” targeted at Sydney’s Jewish community. It, too, turned out to be a furphy.
In his never-ending quest for political advantage, Dutton tends to shoot first and ask questions later (not a great habit for a one-time policeman). Pistol Pete. In the middle of an election campaign it’s a desperate act.
Given the flop of the Russia scare, Dutton might turn to praying for the kind of divine intervention that came Scott Morrison’s way that day in 2019 when he entered a photography studio on the NSW Central Coast and spied a photograph of an enormous soaring eagle. This, he declared, was a message direct from God that he must keep going, despite the setbacks and exhaustion which had overcome him. It worked. Morrison has told the soaring eagle story again and again as the explanation for how he managed his against-the-odds win. As he proclaimed on election night it was a miracle. No, really. A miracle.
Fear and loathing
In 2022 there were no soaring eagles for Morrison. Instead there was a small boatload of asylum seekers from Sri Lanka which arrived, as luck would have it, on election day. Morrison tried turning it into a last-ditch scare campaign but it was too late. God had by now made other plans.
Ever since the lead-up to the 2001 election campaign when the MV Tampa arrived in Australian waters with its boatload of asylum seekers, the idea of a dramatic outside intervention to turn the tide has been a staple of Australian politics. The Howard government used Tampa for all it was worth to paint itself as tough on borders: “We decide who comes into this country and the circumstances in which they come.” The Liberals used the line ruthlessly to destroy Labor’s Kim Beazley, who had been tagged as weak by the Howard government.
A weak hand
There is something tragic about the state of Australian politics that 25 years on from the Tampa a Liberal leader still draws on the security threat playbook to turn an election against a Labor leader it has again sought to depict as weak. “Weak as water,” to use Dutton’s phrase.
Dutton has indeed absorbed well the lessons of the Howard years. The deep irony is that the outside threat dominating this campaign comes not from asylum seekers or from illusory Russians to the north but from Dutton’s political hero, Donald Trump.
The 2025 election campaign has exposed Dutton for what he has become over more than two decades inside the Liberal machine. He is the 24/7 politician, cruising constantly and ceaselessly for the political wedge. From asylum seekers to the Sudanese threat in our suburbs to anti-Semitism it’s all politics and no policy.
You could conclude the Liberal leader is hoist on his own petard — and there’s not an eagle in sight to save him.
I agree that Dogwhistler Dutton is staring right down the gurgler. This does not discomfit me in the least. But we’ve a while to go until all the votes are in. Best not to order the celebratory lamingtons yet.
I so agree with your comment Richard
Cruising for the political wedge-it says it all about the coalition! No wonder there is apathy and distrust of politics and politicians.
Cruising is exactly what this lazy opposition has been doing for the last 3 years. Absolutely no policy development and nothing but negativity should not get this abysmal crowd into government.
As do I….
The liberals in my memory have never come up with any life changing
policies, unless it was robodeibt. It did certainly change lives and ended
quite a few !
Massive agreement here too, Richard
Pistol Pete, Petrol Pete or Diesel Dutton? Which nickname wins? 🙂
Floppy Dutty
Nutty dutty
I prefer “The Dud Spud” …
Dud spud…
Pistol Pete is good. Shoots from the hip and the lip!
I prefer “Temu Trump”
How about Donald Dutton?
You beat me to it! 🙌😀
Rob (see comments below) has suggested Donald Dutton!
Dolly Dutton, Beast of Biloela
J. Edger Tuber
Mr Potato Head.
John Hanscombe’s ‘bollard in a suit’ is apt, both as image and metaphor.
I like the pistol Pete
Dutton being a former policeman who saw more success in being an investor of rental houses .. says much
How we interpret that will depend on personal values
Pistol Pete suits him best,!
Oh and Mr Flip Flop works well!
Donald Dutton dragging his gormless son into his campaign speaks volumes about what the focus groups are telling the party: the party’s over.
Especially when the whole thing was so obviously concocted. Poor little boy can’t afford a house? Pull the other one, it whistles Dixie …
I assume Mr & Mrs Dutton’s young fella is a beneficiary of the family trust that reportedly holds
$30 000 000 in real estate.
Why on earth does any one family need a property portfolio of $30million? Seriously?! And how can Donald Dutton explain away the conflict of interest in being a parliamentarian supposedly making policy decisions on growing the government’s investment in housing / housing supply & homelessness support on the one hand and a property investor / landlord on the other hand?
Yes. I’m beginning to think that allowing property investors to make the laws regarding property investment was not such a good idea after all.
Interesting observation Rob, a question that was posed by Christoper Puplick who was a former Liberal senator who published “Is the Party Over” – the future of the Liberals, with one question; are the liberal policies relevant?
Many of the policy issues that we are grappling with today emerged from ‘honest’ John Howard’s ministries 1st term 1996-1998; 1998-2001; 2001-2004; 2004-2007 who was nothing more than a manipulative and Machiavellian dark soul who knew how to manipulate the legal frameworks.
End of story.
Great write-up and love the humour. Less funny is how often public policy steers so far from what we as citizens want and how often no matter who we vote for we end up with policy surprises and having to choose a basket of policy goods rather than being able to have a say directly.
I’ve been working with a few organisations to create avenues for citizens to be able to have a direct input in policy – policy co-design at scale, as recommended to governments by OECD and as proven in Taiwan.
We are launching an initiative next week to give everyone a chance to discuss the nuclear power proposal. It’s an exercise in direct democracy at scale and to enable a broader vision of ongoing civic engagement and empowerment.
For anyone interested here is the link: https://www.crossroadsconversation.com.au/events/citizen-assembly
Thanks Eddie
The more the media declare Dutton is done, the more likely it is that the still large number of undecideds will consider him the underdog and lean his way. Have you all forgotten Bill Shorten losing the unlosable election.
I share your hesitation but draw some comfort from the different way Bill and Pete are being portrayed in the media. While the media were reporting good polls for Bill, they took every opportunity to warn against him.
This time, owing largely to Albo’s discipline (so far) and Pete’s blunders, the media is focused on Pete, because that’s where the easy stories are.
Sue James Bill Shorten lost because uninformed voters who had no idea what franking credits or capital gains tax meant for them – most likely nothing – voted to be able to still use their Ute and not have their weekends ruined.
How did that turn out for them?
Not to mention the avalanche of lies by that fucking cretin Morrison and his boosters in Murdoch’s risible trash.
Not forgetting Bob Brown’s caravan of political naivety into heartland QLD
I haven’t forgotten work colleagues telling me (among other measures) there was going to be a death tax and being forced to get rid of their utes.
There was an avalanche of fake news
Water is not weak. It is thirst quenching, cleansing, purifying, fun to be in, life giving. You can also cook potatoes in it! God bless Albo!
🙌☺️
🙏👍
Paul Keating summed up the Liberals some time ago, “The Liberals have no principles, they’re simply a bunch of vested interests in search of a policy” Nothings changed and it’s hard to argue against.
Yes, couldn’t have happened to a more deserving bloke (although come to think of it – Australia’s political arena seems crowded with deserving individuals). But Albanese & Co. might want to ask themselves! How come that someone like Dutton could be/was in with a chance (and Abbott and Morrison made it (!?!)). I think that a long, hard look at themselves wouldn’t go amiss. Alas, I don’t think it’s going to happen. They seem to think that clearing the very low bar of not being the other mob is enough.
Minority government will shock them shitless.
They have been there before (minority Government) so would know what they would be faced with.
About bloody time!
I think that is a load of nonsense..Albo and his excellent team have done a fantastic job,under the circumstances..they have put up with the noalition constantly voting against helping people, Murdoch media constantly lying and bagging them,then the MSM including ABC,propping up DonaldDutton, give Labor some credit ffs..
The reason Abbott and Morrison got there is because of Murdoch Scum,who are trying their hardest to get Dutton elected..
I’m with you Val. Although I wish for more (a stop to new coalmines/gas fields etc) Albo has done a pretty good job balancing the reality that our balance of payments relies on exports of this stuff, while still trying to move the country towards a sustainable future. He seemed to have stopped the endless climate wars that have been holding us back and was doing well until Dutton & Co threw a nuclear bomb into the mix to make the power future uncertain again so that investors in wind and solar were scared off.
And heaven help us all now that (drill baby drill) Trump has killed any US’s efforts to reduce climate damage by one of the world’s biggest polluters.
One can only hope that the Aussie voters are intelligent enough to see through Dutton’s bullshit. Given the fact they elected Morrison not that long ago, I am still worried!
I don’t know anyone who claims to be intelligent can read that stuff published by Newscorp at all!
There ought to be a Royal Commission into Murdoch media and should be wound up; the damage done by that Organisation is nothing short of criminal.
This is a very rosy view of “Albo and his excellent team” (Marles alone makes one despair). They’re a neoliberal outfit that follows the path taken by previous Liberal administrations to a disturbing degree. They’re not left-wing or social-democratic and certainly not progressive. Their treatment of the weakest members of the society leaves a lot to wish for. Their refugee policies are awful. On environment and climate their record might be better than Coalition’s but that’s not difficult considering that the latter was the worst. It’s definitely not good enough and the only person who looks like she actually might care has been repeatedly undermined by Albanese and looks destined to lose her portfolio. The crackdown on climate protests and the erosion of the right to freedom of assembly, association and protest under Labor are shameful. Their continuing support for crimes against humanity and disregard of Australia’s obligations under international law are even more so. Their hunger for transparency and a different kind of politics seem to have disappeared the minute they took office. Their election funding ‘reform’ is as cynical as Albanese’s repeated trotting out of his “log cabin’ story during election campaign followed by his government’s indifference to the needs and hardship of certain demographics.
Brandt was right when he said that we should be aiming for the stars. But here we are – happy that while out boots are stuck in mud, at least we’re not being splashed with it from head to toe by passing cars.
Thank god for the “noalition” and Murdoch, or we’d have to blame Labor for their performance.
Agatha, I totally agree with everything you write. The Albanese Labor government only just deserves to be put ahead of the LNP. Even in minority government they would still prefer to deal with the LNP than agree to Improve legislation by listening to the Greens/Teals/Independents as the NACC legislation, so called electoral reform bill and other things have shown. For real reform to happen the GTI’s need to outnumber the LNP, a big call.
Agreed Agatha …. Sunday morn after 22 election I woke up with some hope. Was a good feeling …. for a short while. Now the best we can say about Labor is that they are better than LNP.
And That is a low bar.
How many more elections do we have to endure before “It’s Time” and the G/T/I are the majority?
Relentlessly negative, perpetually outraged, smear and hyperbole – weak, catastrophic etc etc – , cynical divisiveness that appeals to our basest instincts are his stocks in trade. A charmless bully.
Howard, Abbott, Morrison and Dutton ramp up xenophobia and racism at every turn. Just like Oily Farage and all the far right European politicians. But the charmless thug Dutton has cried wolf too often. The arrogant Liberal Party assumes we are all fools while Dutton is a weak as piss salesman. I am confident that the LNP will go backwards. Like Trump, Brexit and Lizz Truss the LNP strategy is doomed to fail especially in better educated electorates
And they are apparently considering that ubermoron Taylor as the next “leader” of the Tories.
Any remaining actual Liberals have every right to be utterly aghast at what their party has become.
Agree with all comments above,
can’t wait for the results of election & Dutton gone along with his cronies
Bridget McKenzie’s attempt at jumping on the scare monger band wagon by proclaiming China and Russia will welcome an Albanese win also just illustrates the lack of original thought the deadheads in the National Party have.
The very sad part about the Liberals successful scaremongering and lazy policy making is that thousands of people have been been seriously harmed by them
Water is not weak!
Imagine if Dutton had to deal with a real emergency
Foot? Feet more like. All four asinine feet.
Why don’t liberal candidates attend candidates forums? Corangamite liberal candidTe Darcy Dunstan is rarely seen. An email said he would be at a local shopping centre, but he didn’t show up. However. He was guest speaker at a local Probus club and wow members with his Military service. No political questions per.itted in that setting
Campaigning by deception!
Dud Dutty may have eased on the Trump line but the righteous sprays are part of the Bannon “hit the fan” playbook.
A drowning man will clutch at straws and panic accelerates the drowning.
In the interests of Truth and Honesty in reporting I believe any images you publish, which are not actual photographs, should have the fact that they are manipulations stated. The lead image is obviously a creation and as such should be attributed, as should all images. The screams for truth and honesty should be met by all outlets. You could lead the way.
Goodness Sandra. That sounds remarkably like a call for objectivity. Surely not in this tedious echo chamber, best demonstrated by the series of juvenile nicknames for Peter Dutton.